Four investment lessons you can learn from Dragons' Den - MoneyWeek

Four investment lessons you can learn from Dragons' Den - MoneyWeek

Salesman ...

A keen immigrant Indian marwari lad applied for a salesman's job at London's premier downtown department store.

In fact, it was the biggest store in the world - you could get anything there. The boss asked him, "Have you ever been a salesman before?"

"Yes sir, I was a salesman in Rajasthan in India", replied the lad.

The boss liked the cut of him and said, "You can start tomorrow and I'll come and see you."

The day was long and arduous for the young man, but he got through it.
And finally 6:00 PM came around. The boss duly fronted up and asked,

"How many sales did you make today?"

"Sir, Just ONE sale." said the young salesman.
"Only one sale?"
blurted the boss. "No! No! You see here, most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day.

"If you want to keep this job, you'd better be doing better than just one
sale. By the way "How much was the sale worth?"

"Three hundred thousand, three hundred and thirty four pounds" said the
young marwari.

"What"," How did you manage that?" asked the flabbergasted boss.

"Well", said the salesman, "This man came in and I sold him a small fish
hook, then a medium hook and finally a really large hook. Then I sell him
new fishing rod and some fishing gear.

Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast.
So I told him he'd be needing a boat, so I took him down to the boat
department and sold him that twenty-foot schooner with the twin engines.


Then he said his Volkswagen probably wouldn't be able to pull it, so I took
him to our automotive department and sold him that new Deluxe 4X4 Blazer.

I then asked him where he'll be staying, and since he had no accommodation,
I took him to camping department and sold him one of those new igloo 6
sleeper camper tents. Then the guy said, while we're at it, I should throw
in about $100 worth of groceries and two cases of beer.

The boss took two steps back and asked in astonishment,

"You sold all that to a guy who came in for a fish hook!!"

"No" answered the salesman, "he came in to buy a box of Sanitary napkins for
his wife and I said to him, "Sir, Your weekends screwed anyway, you might as well go
fishing."

Height of Communication Gap

Mr.Sam comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck: “I have great news: I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody.”

The next day, Mrs.Sam receives a telephone call from British Gas because the electricity bill has not been paid, “Am I speaking to Mrs.Sam?”

“Yes...... speaking”
British Gas guy, “You're a month overdue, you know!”
“How do YOU know?” stammers the young woman.
“Well, ma'am, it's in our files!” says the British Gas guy.

“What are you saying? It's in your files ... HOW?”
“Yes ... We have a system of finding out who's overdue”
“GOD! ... This is too much...”

“Madam, I am sorry...... I am following orders.... I have to inform you are overdue”
“I know that ....... let me talk to my husband about this tonight.....he will speak to your company tomorrow”

That night, she tells her husband about the visit, and he, mad as a bull, rushes to British Gas office the next day morning.

“What's going on? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue? What business is that of yours?” the husband shouts.
“Just calm down,” says the lady at the reception at British Gas, “it's nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us.”

“PAY you? And if I refuse?”

“Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut yours off.”

“And what would my wife do then?” the husband asks.

“I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a candle.”

Customer is not always right!

(I was working part-time in my dad’s shop when a customer came in with a blue Kia Pride.)

Me: “Good afternoon, ma’am. How can I help you?”

Customer: “My car don’t work.”

Me: “OK, ma’am. What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “It don’t work.”

Me: “Um, could you specify, ma’am?”

Customer: “I just told you, it don’t work.”

Me: “Uh, OK…let me just take a look to see what the problem is.”

Customer: “No!!”

Me: “Huh? Why?!”

Customer: “Nobody goes into my property, and my car is my property!!”

Me: “But I have to see your car to know what the problem is, ma’am.”

Customer: “I just told you! It don’t work!”

Me: “…”

(Turns out, she just ran out of gas.)

************

Customer: “I just locked my key in my car in front of the shop.”

Me: (I pick up some stuff) “Not a problem, I’ll pop it open for $5.00.”

Customer: “What are you going to do with that stuff?”

Me: “Open your car.”

Customer: “It’s a brand new Mercedes. I just drove it here from the dealer–you can’t touch it!”

Me: “Then how do I open it?”

Customer: “That’s your problem.”

Me: “Actually it’s not; I didn’t lock the key in your car.”

Customer: “You have to open it.”

Me: “Watch me not open it.”

Customer: “OK then, but if you make any scratch or mark at all then you will have to pay Mercedes to repaint the whole car. That will cost thousands.”

Me: “So If I’m successful I get $5.00, but if I make the smallest error it will cost me thousands of dollars?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Your car might just be there forever.”

Source : HERE

They Walk Among Us!

***

While looking at a house, my brother asked the estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?' When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, 'Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff.'

***

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach. She drove down in a convertible, but 'didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving'.

***
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped She keeps it in the trunk...

***
My friends and I were on a Lager run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases.. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount....

***
I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring b y a chain. My friend said, 'Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?' I had to explain that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned...

***
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up.

She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me, 'Has your plane arrived yet?'...

***

While working at a pizza parlour I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding.

'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.

*** Yep, They Walk Among Us !!!!!!!!*

*Sadly, not only do they walk among us, they also reproduce!!!!*

Marriage Passbook

Wonderful story…just could not resist sharing this one…

Sally married Harry and at the end of the wedding party, Sally's mother gave her a newly opened bank saving passbook. With $1000 deposit amount.

Mother: 'Sally, take this passbook. Keep it as a record of your marriage life. When there's something happy and memorable happened in your new life, put some money in. Write down what it's about next to the line. The more memorable the event is, the more money you can put in. I've done the first one for you today. Do the others with Harry. When you look back after years, you can know how much happiness you've had.'

Sally shared this with Harry when getting home. They both thought it was a great idea and were anxious to know when the second deposit can be made.

This was what they did after certain time:

- 7 Feb: $100, first birthday celebration for Harry after marriage
- 1 Mar: $300, salary raise for Sally
- 20 Mar: $200, vacation trip to Bali
- 15 Apr: $2000, Sally got pregnant
- 1 Jun: $1000, Harry got promoted
...... And so on...

However, after years, they started fighting and arguing for trivial things. They didn't talk much. They regretted that they had married the most nasty people in the world.... no more love....Kind of typical nowadays, huh?

One day Sally talked to her Mother: 'Mom, we can't stand it anymore. We agree to divorce. I can't imagine how I decided to marry this guy!!!'

Mother: 'Sure, girl, that's no big deal. Just do whatever you want if you really can't stand it. But before that, do one thing first. Remember the saving passbook I gave you on your wedding day? Take out all money and spend it first. You shouldn't keep any record of such a poor marriage.'

Sally thought it was true. So she went to the bank, waiting at the queue and planning to cancel the account. While she was waiting, she took a look at the passbook record. She looked, and looked, and looked. Then the memory of all the previous joy and happiness just came up her mind. Her eyes were then filled with tears. She left and went home.

When she was home, she handed the passbook to Harry, asked him to spend the money before getting divorce.

The next day, Harry gave the passbook back to Sally. She found a new deposit of $5000. And a line next to the record: 'This is the day I notice how much I've loved you through out all these years. How much happiness you’ve brought me.'

They hugged and cried, putting the passbook back to the safe.

Do you know how much money they had saved when they retired? I believe the money did not matter any more after they had gone through all the good years in their life.

"When you fall, in any way, don’t see the place where you fell, instead see the place from where you slipped. Life is about correcting mistakes."

INTELLIGENT ANSWERS !!!

Q.How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack!

Q.If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built.

Q.If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands.

Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one hand.

Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. No Probs , He sleeps at night.

Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that.

Q. What looks like half apple ?
A : The other half.

Q. What can you never eat for breakfast ?
A : Dinner.

Q. What happened when wheel was invented ?
A : It caused a revolution.

Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A : Liquid