Mr.Sam comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck: “I have great news: I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody.”
The next day, Mrs.Sam receives a telephone call from British Gas because the electricity bill has not been paid, “Am I speaking to Mrs.Sam?”
“Yes...... speaking”
British Gas guy, “You're a month overdue, you know!”
“How do YOU know?” stammers the young woman.
“Well, ma'am, it's in our files!” says the British Gas guy.
“What are you saying? It's in your files ... HOW?”
“Yes ... We have a system of finding out who's overdue”
“GOD! ... This is too much...”
“Madam, I am sorry...... I am following orders.... I have to inform you are overdue”
“I know that ....... let me talk to my husband about this tonight.....he will speak to your company tomorrow”
That night, she tells her husband about the visit, and he, mad as a bull, rushes to British Gas office the next day morning.
“What's going on? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue? What business is that of yours?” the husband shouts.
“Just calm down,” says the lady at the reception at British Gas, “it's nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us.”
“PAY you? And if I refuse?”
“Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut yours off.”
“And what would my wife do then?” the husband asks.
“I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a candle.”
(I was working part-time in my dad’s shop when a customer came in with a blue Kia Pride.)
Me: “Good afternoon, ma’am. How can I help you?”
Customer: “My car don’t work.”
Me: “OK, ma’am. What seems to be the problem?”
Customer: “It don’t work.”
Me: “Um, could you specify, ma’am?”
Customer: “I just told you, it don’t work.”
Me: “Uh, OK…let me just take a look to see what the problem is.”
Customer: “No!!”
Me: “Huh? Why?!”
Customer: “Nobody goes into my property, and my car is my property!!”
Me: “But I have to see your car to know what the problem is, ma’am.”
Customer: “I just told you! It don’t work!”
Me: “…”
(Turns out, she just ran out of gas.)
************
Customer: “I just locked my key in my car in front of the shop.”
Me: (I pick up some stuff) “Not a problem, I’ll pop it open for $5.00.”
Customer: “What are you going to do with that stuff?”
Me: “Open your car.”
Customer: “It’s a brand new Mercedes. I just drove it here from the dealer–you can’t touch it!”
Me: “Then how do I open it?”
Customer: “That’s your problem.”
Me: “Actually it’s not; I didn’t lock the key in your car.”
Customer: “You have to open it.”
Me: “Watch me not open it.”
Customer: “OK then, but if you make any scratch or mark at all then you will have to pay Mercedes to repaint the whole car. That will cost thousands.”
Me: “So If I’m successful I get $5.00, but if I make the smallest error it will cost me thousands of dollars?”
Customer: “Yes.”
Me: “Your car might just be there forever.”
Source : HERE
